Just after …

Upturned empty glasses

On the wood-surface

Of my mind.

Wet patterns

On a table

In the sun.

She

Black lipstick

Tight derriere

Soft-gelled hair

Intriguing perfume

Passing, momentary

Impressions

Collected on

The one-way street

Of life

Felt, appreciated

Un-acted-upon

Attractions un-acknowledged

Pleasures forbidden

Reached, un-reached

Softness… desired

Hated.

Cruel… hated

Needed.

Crash and burn.

Little matchbox life

Un-ignited

New look, new philosophy

Redundant, unavailing

Time to be

Someone else

Again!

Split

Effective

Completeness

mature

Self-reinvention

Frightening

Extant flotsam

Tides and streams of…

Normalcy

Stronger

Older

Jack-in-the-box

Otherness

Intermittent

Unexpected

Introspection, meditation

Mediation, dialogue

Sick-making

Nerve-raking

Meaningless hyperbole.

Sirena

Plastic smile

Tendrils of hair

On over-pale cheeks

Distinct nip

In the air

Waiting

For all and nothing

Making the best

Of time, energy, Now

Warm fingers

Skittering over

Oversensitive nape, taking control

Warm chills

Cozy discomfort

Teasing warmth

No-limits boundaries

Non-demand

Magic

Woman-love.

Metamorphosis

Wide-awake drunk

On sleep deprivation

And black coffee.

Nervy, restless

In my haven of peace.

Looking, not feeling

Good

In unaccustomed avatar.

Equally disappointed

By hair-dye and philosophy.

Not recognising

The face in

The mirror.

Sexy, self-assured

And unimaginably gauche.

The price of a personal overhaul.

Visibility

Wind-wrinkled

Face

Of a swimming pool.

Turbulent, in-turmoil

Trees

Reaching for a window.

Further out,

Hills

Ripping through a lake-surface.

Kamikaze streams

Trying

To rip me off a stone.

Air, overwhelmed

In smoke, eucalyptus, barbecue

And the stink of my mind.

Ash-flakes

Off a needlessly burning

Cigarette,

Mottling

The fine blue weave

Of an inexpensive shirt.

Cleavage

Moving, stagnant

Still-flowing waters

Ebbing, wafting

All at once

Cleaving, melding

Grey-purple winds

Cloying, clawing

Mindscapes of green

Split image, split personality

Split …

Wanting

George Michael

And the soft

Pitter-patter of rain

Drunk enough

To disregard

Obvious animosities

Motor functions

Sketchy

State of mind

In close resemblance

To an unfinished

Picasso.

Wanting… needing

More than one

Unable, yet

To grasp

The enormity

Of desire

Frieze

Fade in…

Grey-green dawn

Cartoons and chicken soup

Bleached out thoughts

Bleak planning

Sidelined, for an unnecessary

Holiday from sense

A bad trip

To a good place?

All in the head.

Barb-wire common sense

Seeping in

In smothering waves

Over friendly phone lines

Acrid bust-up

Sharp, jagged tears

Ripping out

Smooth-surface stagnation

Scathing concern

Foundation-destroying affection

… Black-out

Epiphany

Dying cigarette

Eddying smoke

Flat Pepsi

And thoughts unthought

Committted

Water shortages

Dishes and guests

All the mundane

Life-truths

Taking on

A sudden

Vicious

Lightning clarity.

Life

Crazy, unpredictable

Un-realised

Devotions.

Re-surfacing

Of old ghosts

More real than real

One fine day

Waking up

To forever.

The Summoning

Vague disquietudes

Un-reasonable

Un-explainable                                               

Misery

With state of being.

Solitary, misfit

Sewing machine

Vast, salt-flat

Spaces of living-room

A sudden, gut-twisting

Need

To go skyclad

Into historical

Future-space

Twenty-nine

Existential angst

Failing to

Recognize

Face

Mirror

Self

Domesticated

Becalmed

Wildness

Restless, caged

Willing suspensions

Of disbelief

Welcome inversions

Of meaning

And mind

Re-invented

Re-thought? …

Paranoid mind-fuck?

Growing pains?

Wormhole

Trying to sort out

Me, myself and I

Putting them in their places

Telling a friend

Confusing, un-convey-able issues

Time? Not enough…

Long hair, green eyes

Black toenails, one anklet

Appearances and impressions

Not nearly the same…

Waking up to rain

Purple mood turning black

Trying to write, clarify

Always, not good enough.

Caught in a time-warp!

Fallacy

Time heals

All wounds

Mine, non-healing

Carcinogenic

Fatal

Death

Sweet oblivion

Lacking the strength

To step over

The last parapet.

Holy Grail

String of bad days

Ennui and Yahoo chat

Mommie dearest

Late nights and loan papers

Crosswords

Iced café americano

Watching bustle go by

Head-stagnating

Peter Wimsey

Algernon, Bunbury

Coffee, smoke, poetry

Enough meaning?

Spellcasting.

Still, airless

Strangle-hold of night.

Energies eddying,

Surging

Whirling.

Sad-ecstatic

Pale green and ochre.

Power

The Deep

Placidity

Numbness?

Toss-up.

Conversing with friends

Throwing up questions

Of semantics.

Much more

Than meets the eye

Peace-placidity

At peace

Placid?

Placid-unupheaval

Stagnation?

Believing, not believing

Clichés

Proving, un-proving

Beliefs

Trying to convince

Whom?

Renewal

Nicotine, tar, ash

Convoluted

Suicidal desires

Lacking guts and desperation

To get through

Today

One day at a time

All wrongs righted

Love thyself…

Easier said

Love of others

Coming to naught

Once, twice, a hundred times

Cursing stupidity

Wanting to take charge.

Control

Diaphanous, almost unreal

Needed

Essential.

Some day…

Reserves of strength

Running low, lowest

Self-image

Taking a beating

At the hands of choice.

Tomorrow

Another day.